Love Story 22

 Im unsure what to say. Can you actually fall in love with a stranger across the world? Even a couple states over? I have been debating about this since the summer.    It all started with just a simple question.   We talked about it. I thought ah, maybe this is a scam. I backed off and he came running back but this time asking a question . Did he do something wrong?   There is open up and told him like it is. He agreed to it. We talked like we were friends. That's how I was talking.    Thats how it all starts

 Love is something I imagine when I'm awake. Drive to work. At my small desk to eating alone in my car.    Knowing I take each step I can to love. But I need to learn how to love myself. Know that I'm good enough for anyone the lord sends me. No more running away from love but towards it.    Let's see how far I shall go to find the love of my life.

 I found myself trying to manifest love. Now I'm debating if I even should. Give up on love. Happiness. Just be okay with what I have. It's not to bad. Sitting at my desk job answering phones day in and out. Going home to kids. Helping them, cleaning  to cooking and the time I have I read, watch TV  and take a bath.  Life is making me give up on things. Love is one of them. Maybe I can live without love. Without a man's touch.    Can I?

 I could have ever inch of my body cling to you like there is no tomorrow. But how can I do that when youbare no where to be found.    Search for you is becoming a dry desert. I looked in coffee shops, grocery stores, libraries to bookstores and nothing. I even sit out on the porch hoping you pass by for me to take a glimpse of you. Nothing in sight.  Where can you be my lost love.

 I'm eager to find love that never seems to ce around. I feel curse after my ex. I have fallen back to my bubble of not sharing nor loving.    I can't seem to even want to spark up a conversation with strangers I will meet one day.   I'm comfortable in my bubble. But, I have so much love to give. So much spark that I want to share it with someone. But just anyone. Someone that the lord made for me. My special person but I can't seem to find him.  Maybe I will find my love, maybe not 

 Maybe I gave up on love a long time ago.  My heart broken in 22 peices. Watching it slowly fall. Deeper in wonder about love, the more it's farther from me, the more I get use to being a lone. I wonder if I will ever love again or be in love.